So I had shared about a book that I have been reading, that has been really awesome for our marriage, and I hadn’t told you the name of it yet… so here it is!
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Now I could go on and on about all of the little excerpts that I highlighted in the book… but I don’t want to bore you. What I LOVE about this book, is that it is so simple and practical…. that is how our men are. Super simple creatures…
She covers a lot of different aspects of loving our men in this book, but for me the part that hit home the hardest was making my husband feel loved and respected by putting him first on my priority list…. Instead of coming after our daughter Ainsley, or after my business… He needed to come first. And one of the most simple things that this meant for me in a practical way, was to take care of some of his most basic needs: Food. 
You might be reading this and think I am so utterly stupid… but my mindset has changed from making sure that there is food in the house, snacks that he likes, and making dinner about 2x a week to putting that need at the top of my to do list… So, this has looked a few different ways for me…
Cooking him a meal, and having it ready for him when he gets home from work.
Somedays this means… taking the time to look up a recipe…going to the store to get what I need… making it, etc… and then getting my work done later… Somedays this is super hard… I know that might sound pathetic….but it just plain is…. But, I trust that God’s order for my priorities is Him(God), Husband, Child, Job… So I am trusting that by honoring his order, He will bless it, and He surely has. Work is getting done… Ainsley and I are having a blast… and my husband feels loved.
I have been trying to make something every night, but some nights I have just made him a plate of leftovers, and have had it heated up and ready for him when he got home…
Sometimes it is packing his lunch with a note…
Sometimes it is making him iced coffee before he leaves for work…
It is just little things, but it goes a long way… and my husband knows that I care about him. I stopped giving him my leftovers (no pun intended), and putting focus on really letting him know that I am thinking about him. Ainsley and I greet him at the door, shower him with hugs, give him some space to unwind, and then feed his belly.
It is crazy b/c the author basically states that if you make your man feel important… and loved… and that he is a priority in your life… that you admire him, he will slay dragons for you. Now, we don’t have dragons in our house (that I know of), but I am pretty sure that if we did… he would be slaying them.
I am not doing this for the receiving side, but I am not going to say that I am not enjoying it. Just making him a priority has made me love him more…. it’s like it rekindled a little spark that might have fizzled out a bit… and it is crazy how suddenly he just started taking the garbage out… and doing little things that I love his help with… and I haven’t even asked!
Here are just a few things that hit me from her book, that I thought I would share.
“Love your husband with all your heart and treat him like the gift of God that he is.” I think that sometimes I really do forget what a gift he is in my life. It is so easy to just “do life” and take for granted our blessings.
“It’s one thing to have a tiring, stressful day- or even week. It’s another thing to allow outside activities, no matter how seemingly important, to routinely get in the way of obligations to the roles created by holy vows, moral obligations, and love.” Helloooooo convicting statement. Of course holy vows, moral obligation, and love should be first on the list. Where has my head been? I definitely don’t want to be the couple that wakes up one day when our kids move out…who look at each other and have no connection…because it wasn’t a priority…. No thank you. Didn’t sign up for that one… so it will take some hard work and commitment. I’m game.
“…Your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife’s hero, to be his wife’s dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired, and appreciated. Men live to make their women happy.”
“By and large, they tend to get a sense of approval from their success at work, and from their wives’ happiness. That makes us wives more accountable for their well-being than we may like to be.”
And that, my friends, is all that I will share for now… Really amazing book. Crazy easy read. Super simple concepts… and I totally love it b/c she doesn’t take any excuses. It is a no frills, no excuses… if you let your marriage go down the drain it is your fault kind of perspective… Now of course there are always special circumstances… don’t get me wrong, but it is totally worth the read!
I had also mentioned in the last post that I have a group promo code for the Weekend to Remember Getaway Retreat. So, if you are thinking about going, use the code: MEP, and I am pretty sure it is 50% off. Pretty awesome.
m.e.
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Beth posted the following on 12.12.09 at 1:42 pm.
Yay!! I’m so glad you like it that much.
Now you see why I was raving about it. I hope it continues to light the spark back up for you guys!