So on the lines of my recent marriage/relationship posts… I just wanted to share another little something, something with you.

Josh and I really love the ministry FamilyLife, and some friends that we know who serve on their staff, had sent us some really awesome materials to check out, listen to, pass on, etc. And one of our very favorites (I can speak for Josh here…know he agrees) is a DVD called Love and Respect. We would put the DVD in sometimes when we were taking a road trip somewhere… and we would find ourselves… laughing and saying…. that is totally us. Itt is real life, real people, real circumstances. Real Marriages.

You might be reading this and thinking how silly it is that we sometimes listen to stuff like that… but if you are married… or getting married….or have been in a relationship for a long time, you know that relationships are hard work. Marriages are crazy hard work.  People are messy…. and so without working at our relationships…. we can find ourselves in pretty crummy places.

I  don’t think any of us ever get married with the intention of letting our marriages go… I think that often times it gradually just happens… Bit by bit the distractions of everyday life and our selfishness build  barriers… and sometimes the road to get back on track seems too long, too hard……and you know the ending of so many stories.

So here are a few links that I wanted to share with you on some things that have really helped us… and just an fyi, our marriage isn’t awesome… I mean, it’s awesome, but it’s not awesome… ha ha.. You know what I mean? It’s really hard a lot of times, but we love each other and we are always working at it.  :) So, I am just sharing resources that we have loved or have found helpful along the way.

So, one of the big things in the Love and Respect series is that we end up in the Crazy Cycle…. oh, how much time Josh and I spend in the crazy cycle…

Here is a little explanation taken straight from here:

Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved.  We asked 7,000 people this question:  When you are in conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected?  83% of the men said “disrespected.”  72% of the women said “unloved.”

Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict.  For example, when a woman feels unloved during conflict, her natural reaction is to respond disrespectfully.  And when a husband feels disrespected during conflict, his reaction is to respond unlovingly.  We call this the Crazy Cycle:  “Without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.”

The message the wife is trying to send in her negative reaction (criticism/contempt) is, “I don’t feel loved by you right now.” The message the husband hears is, “I don’t respect you, buster, unless you change immediately.” When he reacts either in anger or by stonewalling, the message the wife hears again is, “I don’t love you.”

Things get crazy because this feeds itself. Her disrespect feeds his lack of love. His unloving reactions feed her disrespect. Round and round it goes.

So, here is a link for you. If you click here, you can actually listen to this series… I tried to embed them, but they are too large to do so. Sorry! I wanted to be able to make it easy for you, but looks like this is the best I can do.

So when you click on the link, you are taken to a search page. From there, choose Love and Respect from the series list, and you will be taken to the series of interviews with Dr. Emerson Eggrich… We have listened to the series that say 2008. I am sure that the others are amazing as well though.. And an awesome thing is that you can download them, so you can listen to them on your computer, your ipod, in your car, etc.

So happy listening!

And because every post is better with a photo… Here is a recent from a foggy am sunrise while on the road…..

m.e.

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Happy Friday!

I hope that you had a fabulous week… that you got a lot accomplished… that you made great memories with loved ones….

Had to share a few images from a super quick session that I did with Ainsley this past December just before Christmas…. LOVE, LOVE all of her little expressions…

She is my trusty little assistant over here in Pittsburgh….and she lights up my life. She keeps me on my toes and I love her more than anything.

Can’t believe she will be 18th months in just over a week. Not sure where the time has gone….but we’ve enjoyed it!

We are planning a fun little session for the 18 month milestone….so you should see those on the blog soon. One of my new years GOALS (more of a goal girl than a resolution girl) is to share some more photos of our peanut…. So, here is a little start!

Have an amazing weekend! And we’ll see you Monday!

m.e.

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So I had shared about a book that I have been reading, that has been really awesome for our marriage, and I hadn’t told you the name of it yet… so here it is!

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Now I could go on and on about all of the little excerpts that I highlighted in the book… but I don’t want to bore you. What I LOVE about this book, is that it is so simple and practical….  that is how our men are. Super simple creatures…

She covers a lot of different aspects of loving our men in this book, but for me the part that hit home the hardest was making my husband feel loved and respected by putting him first on my priority list…. Instead of coming after our daughter Ainsley, or after my business… He needed to come first. And one of the most simple things that this meant for me in a practical way, was to take care of some of his most basic needs: Food.  You might be reading this and think I am so utterly stupid…  but my mindset has changed from making sure that there is food in the house, snacks that he likes, and making dinner about 2x a week to putting that need at the top of my to do list… So, this has looked a few different ways for me…

Cooking him a meal, and having it ready for him when he gets home from work.

Somedays this means… taking the time to look up a recipe…going to the store to get what I need… making it, etc… and then getting my work done later… Somedays this is super hard… I know that  might sound pathetic….but it just plain is…. But, I trust that God’s order for my priorities is Him(God), Husband, Child, Job… So I am trusting that by honoring his order, He will bless it, and He surely has. Work is getting done… Ainsley and I are having a blast… and my husband feels loved.

I have been trying to make something every night, but some nights I have just made him a plate of leftovers, and have had it heated up and ready for him when he got home…

Sometimes it is packing his lunch with a note…

Sometimes it is making him iced coffee before he leaves for work…

It is just little things, but it goes a long way… and my husband knows that I care about him. I stopped giving him my leftovers (no pun intended), and putting focus on really letting him know that I am thinking about him. Ainsley and I greet him at the door, shower him with hugs, give him some space to unwind, and then feed his belly.

It is crazy b/c the author basically states that if you make your man feel important… and loved… and that he is a priority in your life… that you admire him, he will slay dragons for you. Now, we don’t have dragons in our house (that I know of), but I am pretty sure that if we did… he would be slaying them.

I am not doing this for the receiving side, but I am not going to say that I am not enjoying it. Just making him a priority has made me love him more…. it’s like it rekindled a little spark that might have fizzled out a bit… and it is crazy how suddenly he just started taking the garbage out… and doing little things that I love his help with… and I haven’t even asked!

Here are just a few things that hit me from her book, that I thought I would share.

“Love your husband with all your heart and treat him like the gift of God that he is.” I think that sometimes I really do forget what a gift he is in my life. It is so easy to just “do life” and take for granted our blessings.

“It’s one thing to have a tiring, stressful day- or even week. It’s another thing to allow outside activities, no matter how seemingly important, to routinely get in the way of obligations to the roles created by holy vows, moral obligations, and love.” Helloooooo convicting statement. Of course holy vows, moral obligation, and love should be first on the list. Where has my head been? I definitely don’t want to be the couple that wakes up one day when our kids move out…who look at each other and have no connection…because it wasn’t a priority…. No thank you. Didn’t sign up for that one… so it will take some hard work and commitment. I’m game.

“…Your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife’s hero, to be his wife’s dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired, and appreciated. Men live to make their women happy.”

“By and large, they tend to get a sense of approval from their success at work, and from their wives’ happiness. That makes us wives more accountable for their well-being than we may like to be.”

And that, my friends, is all that I will share for now… Really amazing book. Crazy easy read. Super simple concepts… and I totally love it b/c she doesn’t take any excuses. It is a no frills, no excuses… if you let your marriage go down the drain it is your fault kind of perspective… Now of course there are always special circumstances… don’t get me wrong, but it is totally worth the read!

I had also mentioned in the last post that I have a group promo code for the Weekend to Remember Getaway Retreat. So, if you are thinking about going, use the code: MEP, and I am pretty sure it is 50% off. Pretty awesome.

m.e.

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Hey all!

So here is the next part of our house tour!If you missed the first part, click here. (You haven’t missed much!)

Welcome to our living room! This is also our client meeting space…. Hence why most of the photos on display are not personal.. The  yellow room on the left that you are getting a teeny peek into is my office…. which is next on the tour!

We LOVE having a fireplace!!! We didn’t have one in MD and really wanted one…

It has been so nice outside this winter that sadly, we haven’t used it yet… And actually… we don’t even have tools… ha

Maybe next year….

A view from the other corner….

Our little corner display. This display is actually personal… They are our maternity photos done by one of my favorite photogs, Maria Vincencio…. and a few that we took of Ainsley…

And a view from the other corner…

So whether you are a friend or a bride, when you come in we want you to kick back, put your feet up, and feel like you are at home.

Thanks for stopping by….

m.e.

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So if you follow us on Facebook, you might have seen this pic last week….

Gotta love getting packages in the mail!!! I was so excited to order some prints for display in our meeting room…. We have more wall space here, and my old photos needed some refreshing…

So here you go… One of our new displays! LOVE, LOVE canvases… and they look so amazing on the wall!  The horizontal and vertical canvases are 10×20. The large squares are 20×20, and the small square is 10×10….  I know when clients start thinking about canvases or wall prints, 20×20 can seem so big, but when you hang larger prints on the wall like that, they look amazing! Little prints get lost on walls…

And our mantel display… The large verticals are 16×20, and then the squares are 12×12, 8×8, and 5×5….

And our old window…. filled it with a few pics of our little lady. Love that child.

Happy Tuesday! More of the house tour coming tomorrow!

m.e.

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